Advice please

What do you say to a friend or relative that's going through terminal cancer with a spouse? How would you console your friend without hurting her feelings and not make her feel miserable?

Please suggest.

Thanks in advance

Maggie

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is just ask your friend how she is coping. Instead of looking for the right thing to say, just let her do the talking. If you have a close relationship, put your arm around her or take her hands in your yours and just ask her how she is. So many people are afraid to get too close to someone who is caring for a terminally ill loved one because it feels awkward and scary to imagine ourselves in their place - it might really be a gift to her to let her just be honest and unguarded.

Good luck

Previously maggie k wrote:

What do you say to a friend or relative that's going through terminal cancer with a spouse? How would you console your friend without hurting her feelings and not make her feel miserable?

Please suggest.

Thanks in advance

Dear Maggie, while caregiving for my parents, my mother avoided talking about the Breast Cancer that was speedily taking her life.  Through avoidance of the truth my father was mislead, hopeful for her complete recovery, and not given the opportunity to adjust to the devastating changes that were eminent.  The death of my mother was a shock to my father.  He was not able to deal with it, consequently losing the will to continue. Afterwards, within a short time he also passed away.

It occurs to me that there must be a gentle, but clear way to assist your friend. Being graciously honest within the lines of compassionately supporting her would be the way I would want my friends and family to treat me now that I’ve had the experience mentioned above.

Thanks for your question; I truly hope you find the comfort and answers you seek.