Balancing your life with caring for parents

Pat's parents are still living independently, and her mom is trying to do everything to run her home while caring for her father who has several medical issues (COPD, full time on oxygen, cancer survivor). Pat feels they could use more help, but are reluctant to do so, and Pat is struggling with maintaining her own life, and trying to meet the increasing need of her parents.

I think it would be ever so helpful for Pat to meet with a number of the home help services listed on this website to find a fit for her parents needs.  Also, meeting with a mental health professional who specializes in mid-life and aging issues would be helpful in learning improved communication techniques to ease working WITH her parents in such a way that honors them.  Better understanding of the self in relationship to family members is key in establishing balance.

Older adults often don't feel that they need assistance for a variety of reasons. It can be difficult for adult children to put into words why they feel their parents could use some assistance without offending them. Choose  your words carefully when having these conversations.

Also, it is important for adult children to establish boundaries to take care of themselves. If children do everything for their parents then, naturally the parents will not feel any need for additional assistance.

These are tricky issues that can consume our thoughts. I wish you luck. Know that you are not alone. There are many resources available in larimer county to assist you with this issue.