Overwhelmed as a caregiver

Ellen is a widow who has been caring for her mother in her home for the last 9 years. Her mother is very difficult, and makes threats if Ellen mentions a move to assisted living or SNF. Ellen need help to become more assertive and to validate her feelings of needing some type of assistance so she does not continue to be a 24/7 caregiver. Her doctor has indicated that her own health is at risk if she does not find a way to get assistance.

Ellen

I would suggest that you start slowly by introducing other people who help you with your mother's caregiving.  Those people could be either friends, chruch members, etc or they can be paid caregivers.  Larimer County Office on Aging has money for respite care meaning that you get time off!

In addition you might want to seek the help of professionals to talk with your mother about a possible move.  I would suggest that you talk with her physician ahead of time and see if the physician agrees that a placement is appropriate and then have the physican tell your mother.  Also I would seek the help of a social worker/counselor or psychologist for your mother to see what her fears are.  I was involved in one case where we worked with a mediator between  mother and you if mom is able to understand that process.  Does your mother know that your health is also now on the line if you don;t get help?  does she need to hear that from your physician?Good luck, hope this helps.Kirsten HartmanGeriatric Care ManagerSeniors in Transition