Living with Family

Moving aging parents in with your family may seem a logical solution when they are no longer able to live independently. However, it is a challenging choice which bears careful consideration. The addition of any one or two persons to an existing household can cause tension, and when there are health and/or memory problems, the stress can be unbearable.

It is important to consider each family member's needs and preferences, especially the aging parent's! It is common that the parent does NOT wish to live with family, but would prefer to be in his or her own home, even if that means assisted living, board and care, or a nursing home.

Each member of the family should have an opportunity to express honest feelings. An eldercare consultant or advisor, or professional geriatric care manager can facilitate family discussion to smooth the road to consensus.

Perhaps one of the most important exercises for adult children to do during this process is to ask himself if this is something he really wants to do. Is it because he feels he should, would feel guilty if he didn't, believes others expect it of him? Is he acting out of some belief that he owes this to the parent because of a past sin or mistake. If it is something trully desired by all parties, the process can be an enriching one for the family.

Many questions need answers, and there will no doubt be need for services to augment those the family provides. Home health care, transportation services, senior center activities, and adult day programs are just a few ways to increase the comfort of this housing option.